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Merry Christmas Quotes
“I made a French film called 'Merry Christmas' which is a very European film. It's a World War I piece.” -Diane Kruger
“It's bad enough being conned into singing an anti-war message by John Lennon when you think you're just wishing everyone a merry Christmas.” - Ian Watson
“For me, the spirit of Christmas means being happy and giving freely. It's a tradition for all the kids in the family to help mom decorate the tree. Christmas is all about family, eating, drinking and making merry.” - Malaika Arora Khan
“You can't allow the forces of political correction to shut you up. I mean, why are people afraid to say, 'Merry Christmas?' Give me a break. If people don't like it, yeah, they can go do something else.” - Ben Carson
“It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it.” -Ben Stein
Merry Christmas Greetings
I wish you all the best things for Christmas; health, happiness, satisfaction, and above all – for all eternity!
I wish you the very best this Christmas; joy, and a heart full of happiness. I love you!
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas, with every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright, May all your Christmases be white.
May you have an ideal Christmas as a reflection of your values, desires and affections.
Bells are ringing, snowflakes flying Sending you my most sincere blessings, Merry Christmas.
The real spirit of Christmas is to cherish peace and goodwill and to be plenteous in mercy. Merry Christmas and may God’s grace be with you.
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy
Your heart with love, and your life with laughter
Love and joy came down on earth on Christmas Day to make you cheerful and happy
Be merry; not just on this wonderful day but all through the year.
Childhood memories and love of kindred make our hearts grow tender
In spirit makes us a child again….at Christmas time of the year
Merry Christmas! May the things that bring Christmas cheers surround you all through the year.
Merry Christmas Sayings 2016
Happiness— May your life be filled with joy and happiness and may each new day bring you moments to cherish.
As you celebrate the miracle of Christmas on this season of the year, may your heart be filled with joy and happiness! May blessings of the holiday stay forever in your home and with you all the year ahead!
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
May all the sweet magic of Christmas conspire to gladden your heart and fill every desire.
May the good times and treasures of the present become the golden memories of tomorrow. Wishing you lots of love, joy and happiness. Merry Christmas!
Peace, good will and happiness for you at Christmas and always.
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your life with laughter.
Christmas Vacation Quotes
“Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukkah.” — Clark Griswold
“Is Rusty still in the Navy?” — Aunt Bethany
“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat, drive you into the middle of nowhere, and leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold
“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold
“I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold
“Yes, its a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out.” — Clark Griswold
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis
“You about ready to do some kissin’?” — Cousin Eddie
“We’re at the threshold of hell.” — Clark Griswold
“Looks great. Little full, lotta sap.” — Clark Griswold
“Sh*tter’s full.” — Uncle Eddie
“I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping.” — Ellen Griswold
“Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold
“If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” — Cousin Eddie
“We’re gonna have the hap- hap- happiest Christmas.” — Clark Griswold
Funny Christmas Quotes
Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.
Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day - the birth of Santa?
- Bart Simpson (Matt Groening)
How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.
If you can't wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.- A Guy Named Kelly @kellysdf
I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.- Earthman Adam @AdamOfEarth
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
- Andy Borowitz
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
- Melanie White
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
- Dave Barry
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
- Bridger Winegar
Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.
- Melanie White
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
- Winston Spear
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
- Andy Borowitz
Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.
- Melanie White
This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
- Guy Endore Kaiser
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat.
- Melanie White
Inspirational Christmas Quotes
“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” ― Bob Hope
“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.” – Eric Sevareid, CBS News journalist.
“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” – Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States
“Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind.” – Mary Ellen Chase
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens
Religious Christmas Quotes
Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship. Merry Christmas. ~Dr. Thieme
The hinge of history is on the door of a Bethlehem stable. ~Ralph W. Sockman
May we not ‘spend’ Christmas or ‘observe’ Christmas, but rather ‘keep’ it. ~Peter Marshall
To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing. ~Martin Luther
All the Christmas presents in the world are worth nothing without the presence of Christ. ~David Jeremiah
Mankind is a great, an immense family… This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. ~Pope John Paul XXIII
Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home. ~G.K. Chesterton
Christmas celebrates the awesome and amazing fact that God is grander, wiser and more mysterious thanwe could have ever imagined. ~Dan Schaeffer
The very purpose of Christ’s coming into the world was that He might offer up His life as a sacrifice for thesins of men. He came to die. This is the heart of Christmas. ~Rev. Billy Graham
The early Christians did not rejoice because of better things to come.They rejoiced because Christ hadcome. God's unspeakable gift was not provisional. They rejoiced because it was final. ~Handel H. Brown
Christmas Love Quotes
This year I have the best gift ever. I have you in my life! Merry Christmas!
Christmas comes once a year, but please know that I cherish you every single day no matter the distance between us.
Christmas is always so special because we spend it together. Merry Christmas, darling!
If Christmas love and happiness were snowflakes, I wish you a blizzard’s worth of them this year. Here’s to many joyful Christmases to you my love.
Christmas is a time for reflecting on the blessings we have received throughout the year. You are my number one blessing since the day we first met.
I’m so blessed to spend Christmas with you! Merry Christmas, my love!
They say happiness cannot be measured in exact terms, and that may be true. It is enough that we have Christmas to remind us that love, happiness and goodwill are the true things that uplift our lives. Thank you for the happiness you bring to me since I met you my love.
Beyond any other gift I could receive on Christmas, you are the best! Merry Christmas!
This Christmas I want to take time to tell you how much you mean to me. I feel so blessed with you!
May all your joyful Christmas dreams come true, my beloved! I love you!
I cannot imagine a Christmas without your loving presence. Merry Christmas my darling!
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Quotes
Griswold! Where are you gonna put a tree that big?
Bend over and I'll show you!
Dad, that thing will never fit in our front yard.
It's not going in our yard, it's going in our living room!
Fixed the newel post!
Margot: And why is the carpet all wet, TODD!?
Todd: I don't KNOW, Margot!
Clark Griswold: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Chanukah."
Clark: Aunt Bethany, would you say the grace?
Aunt Bethany: Grace? Didn't she pass away 30 years ago?
Uncle Lewis: He wants you to say the grace.
Uncle Lewis (after pausing); THE BLESSSSING!!!!
Cousin Eddie: If you don't mind Clark, I would like to fumigate this chair.
Clark: You smell something Eddie?
Cousin Eddie: Fried pussycat.
(Police knock on Margo's door)
Margo: Todd if you want to come back into this house you gotta break down that goddamn door!(the police break her door in)
Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.
Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.
Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin' rocks
Bethany: Don't throw me down, Clark.
Clark: I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany...
Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: Shitter was full.
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?
Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
Clark: He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.
Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.
Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.
Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.
Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.
Clark Griswold: Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season.
Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
Audrey: We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?
Clark: No, I have one of those at home.
Todd: Well, something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo!
Margo: And why is the carpet all wet, *Todd*?
Todd: I don't *know*, Margo!
Ellen: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.